I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. However, in the midst of his blockbuster fame in the late 20th century, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35th anniversary this winter.
The Role and The Famous Scene
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger portrays a tough police officer who goes undercover as a schoolteacher to locate a fugitive. During the film's runtime, the investigation plot functions as a simple backdrop for the star to have charming interactions with kids. The most unforgettable belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who spontaneously announces and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold replies icily, “Thanks for the tip.”
The boy behind the line was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a notable part on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films listed on his IMDb. Furthermore, he frequently attends fan conventions. Not long ago recalled his recollections from the filming of the classic after all this time.
Memories from the Set
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would take me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there briefly, read a small part they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was very kind. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which I guess isn't too surprising. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a positive atmosphere. He was fun to be around.
“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a major movie star because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — it was exciting — but he wasn't scary to me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being fun?
You know, it's amusing, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the other children would ask for my help to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all little kid memories.
That Famous Quote
OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember the context? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they didn't have specific roles. Some character lines were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they refined it on set and, reportedly someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it could end up as one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.